Sometimes we get stuck in our stories – our dramas – and our friends grow weary of how often we tell them
When we experience life, we talk about it. We share the stories that are amazing, funny and absurd. We talk about moments when we felt unfairly treated or when we obsessed over something quirky. It’s natural – this is how humans have learned to communicate, to share with others and tell the tale of who…
Embrace adversity, become more adept at challenges and seeing opportunity, cultivate positivity, develop more empathy
When you’re in upheaval, you tend to hit survival mode pretty quickly. Your life becomes focused on just getting through the day. Beyond that? You don’t have the time or energy to care. But now more than ever, you need to take advantage of what time you have for personal growth. When we’re challenged is…
If fear is putting you in an inner conflict, try collaboration instead of fighting and imagine a more triumphant outcome
That which we resist persists – but you can change all that! A young gymnast has been working with me on elevating her performance. Despite being exceptionally talented and scoring well on the bars and mat, she recently developed a completely debilitating fear of the balance beam. When pressed about the problem, she described a fear of falling;…Form a mental picture of what is causing your anxiety to take control and set your feet on a better path
Calm down. Seriously. We all have things that leave us on edge. Sometimes it’s an event or a person (like a visit from your mother-in-law). Sometimes we’re more anxious due to more significant issues, leaving us unsure of our safety and well-being, like when a severe illness is going around. Whatever the case, anxiety is…
Our reactions to perceptions that aren’t aligned with our own firmly-held beliefs often lead to misunderstandings and conflict
We learn early that not everyone shares our point of view. To understand a situation, we need to consider varying perspectives. There’s no inarguable truth for all situations. We build understanding from inviting multiple perspectives. Consider your emotional reaction to the idea of honesty in politics, or where to spend critical health care or education…
Being able to see the big picture and develop the resources to make dreams reality leads to important mental growth
As far back as 1937, Napoleon Hill was writing about the human mind. In his book Think and Grow Rich, he set out the idea that success truly starts internally. According to Hill, we can think ourselves rich by having the right mindset, and following certain guidelines on how we think about success, money and…
Handwriting analysis requires comparing upstrokes and downstrokes, looking for patterns and discrepancies to form a profile of the writer
As a handwriting analyst, I often speak to groups on the value of learning to interpret someone’s handwriting as a strategy for improving communications and reducing conflicts on teams. After a recent event, several people indicated how impressed they were by the accuracy of the group analyses. Aside from being entertaining, one business man declared, “This is…
When you become accustomed to worrying, you have a constant stream of negative feedback and information in your brain
Worry can derail an entire day if you let it. But you have the power to stop it in just 30 minutes, freeing up the rest of the day to really live. The strategy is more straightforward than you might think. When you become accustomed to worrying, you have a constant stream of negative feedback…
Conflicts are less likely when everyone is focused on the goal, clear about how they can contribute and appreciated for their efforts
“I'm so tired of being ordered around or dictated to – I’m done with this!” “I can't believe they didn’t even discuss this with me. If they want to make all the decisions, then they can do it themselves.” If you've ever been on a planning committee, condo board, conference committee or not-for-profit board, you've…
Don’t freak out; just laugh at life’s little quirks
You have a great idea as you are getting dressed in the morning. “Aha,” you think, “I’ll do something about that right away.” You walk from the bedroom to the kitchen for your first cup of coffee of the day and realize that the important thought you had has magically disappeared in the 15 feet…
Visualization can eliminate some of the unknowns that create stress-induced anxiety in the average person, just as it does for elite athletes
Success can often be seen first in the mind's eye. The performance of most elite athletes is directly affected by their thoughts; they must master their inner emotions when the pressure is on. Learning to harness the power of the mind is an extraordinary gift, not just for athletes but for any of us who need…
The information you glean can often be put to good use
If you have spent any time on Facebook, or inside an employee transition seminar, you have probably been exposed to personality quizzes. But what do you do with that information once you have it? You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that you are likely happier, in your work and personal…
Falling back on clichés to communicate makes us come across as superficial
The next time you're going through a really tough time and some perky little twit says to you, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” or “It’s always darkest before the dawn,” try to resist the temptation to stuff a carrot muffin up his or her nose. That person probably has the best of intentions.…
Social media has become immersive entertainment. But it’s also ruthless and stressful for many people
Each of us has an agenda (however fleeting) to influence people around us. We want them to agree with our perspective, our angst even. Sometimes we succeed in gaining momentum with a group – raising dissenting voices into a fevered pitch that results in others (the accidental audience members) being hooked into the current melee.…
We’re often reluctant to establish a line when dealing with others because we don’t want to be seen as difficult. So instead we stew in our anger and resentment
Have you ever lived near or worked with someone who seemed to have a problem respecting personal space? About 15 years ago, a neighbour decided he wanted to build a garage. There was a tree on his property line that he didn’t want to take down, so he figured he would just appropriate needed space…